


Swipe the Right One In

by Julieoftarth (Wherethereissmoak)



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Online Dating
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-05
Updated: 2018-08-28
Packaged: 2019-06-22 00:34:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 9,837
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15569838
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wherethereissmoak/pseuds/Julieoftarth
Summary: Brienne starts online dating to find a man in order to make her father happy. Her best friend Jaime is not a fan of this idea.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ikkiM](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ikkiM/gifts).



> Hi all! I started writing this for Mikki a while back when she was having a really crappy week with work and things, but I ended up finishing it during Camp Nano. It's a short four chapters and epilogue. I hope you enjoy!
> 
> Special Thanks to @ashleywrites stuff for the beta and for the name idea. :)

“Take it again, Pod, and try my other side. Maybe that will be my good one. Although I’m not entirely sure it’s possible for me to have a good side.”

Jaime knew he should keep walking as he was already late for a meeting in his father’s office, but he couldn’t resist investigating what in the hells was going on in Brienne’s office. Why was his favorite best friend and wench having her assistant take her picture? And since when did Brienne care about her bad side?

He entered her office to see something that almost made him laugh out loud if it hadn’t perplexed him so. Brienne was standing as far away as she could from Podrick, who was on the opposite side of the room taking her picture. Brienne was making faces Jaime assumed she thought were sexy. It was beyond ridiculous.

“No, Pod, I see the zoom moving in. I don’t want any close ups of my face,” Brienne demanded.

“But Ms. Tarth, don’t you want them to see…” the assistant stammered before she cut him off.

“If there is a close up of my face, there will be no point to this at all,” Brienne said with a scowl.

Gods, Jaime loved that scowl, but he was annoyed that he wasn’t the one who caused it. Getting a rise out of Brienne was the best part of his day.

“What’s going on in here, wench? Are you starting a new career as a model? You’ve got the height for it, if not the looks.”

His words earned him a deeper frown, causing him to chuckle. Brienne turned beet red.

“Nothing. We are doing nothing. Don’t you have a meeting?” She tried to shoo him out of her office.

He side-stepped around her.

“I do, but this is far more interesting. Why are you having your poor assistant take your photo? Do they need new ones for the website?”

Brienne turned a shade of red that happened to be one of his favorite colors on her, shaking her head in the negative.

“No, not for the website. Can you just leave us to our work?”

Jaime frowned. It wasn’t like Brienne to keep things from him. They had been best friends for many years now and shared all their secrets. She was the one person who knew the deepest, darkest things about him that he would never reveal elsewhere. How dare she keep something from him. And it must be something big, if her blush was any indication.

Pod cleared his throat and gestured his head toward her computer. Brienne’s eyes widened as she rushed to get to her desk before Jaime, but he was too quick for her.

“Traitor,” she hissed at Pod, causing Jaime to chuckle.

His humor was short lived when he saw what website the wench was on. “MateMatch” was a site dedicated to finding love matches for some of the noble houses in Westeros. Apparently even the gentry needed help from time to time.

Jaime was floored that Brienne was on the site. He knew that she had been ill matched a few times by her father, who was desperate for his only heir to give him grandchildren, but he thought she was perfectly content being single and not doing what was expected of her. It was one of the things they had in common because he too had a nagging father.

“What in seven hells is this?” Jaime asked the blushing Brienne.

“What does it look like?”

“It looks like my best friend is putting herself on the meat market. I thought you didn’t date.”

Brienne looked offended by his words. “I date, just not often.”

“I didn’t mean anything by it, Brienne. I just mean that it didn’t seem to be your thing.”

Brienne’s shoulders slumped, and she sat down at her desk. “My father is starting to get older and in frail health. I want to make him happy before he passes.”

It was Jaime’s turn to scowl. “By parading yourself out there for these desperate men?”

She scoffed. “You don’t know that they are desperate. Besides I’m desperate. I’m not like you Jaime; people don’t find me gorgeous and throw themselves at me.”

“That was like one time,” Jaime said, rolling his eyes at her. Brienne arched an eyebrow and he threw up his hands in surrender. “Okay, maybe a few times. But my point is you don’t have to do this to find someone. I’m sure there is something else we can do.”

“We?”

Jaime nodded. “Absolutely. There is no way I want you out there in the dating world without my help. You will get eaten alive.”

As soon as the words were out of his mouth, Jaime knew he had made a big mistake. Nothing spurred Brienne more into action than being told she couldn’t do something.

She plopped down in her chair and began going through the pictures that Pod had taken before discreetly exiting from the room while they were arguing. “I can and will do this. You can either be supportive or just leave my office.”

Jaime didn’t like the idea of strange men being around Brienne. He didn’t know why. He knew she could take care of herself, but she didn’t trust the idiot men in the world. She may have a tough exterior, but his best friend was really a teddy bear on the inside.

“I’ll stay. You know none of those pictures will work. I mean, your long legs might draw some of them in, but you are really hiding your best feature…your eyes,” Jaime said as he pulled out his phone and snapped a picture of Brienne looking at him in surprise.

“My eyes? What? There is no way I’m putting a closeup of me on this site. My face is definitely not my best feature,” she protested.

Jaime took a moment to study her. She was right that her face was nothing to gush over, but through the years it had become his favorite thing to look at. Her nose was crooked, but it added character to her face. And her freckles…she had 87…gave him something new to look at each time they were close. Her teeth were crooked and her lips too large, but her eyes…he could drown in them.

But he never could tell her all of that. They were friends, and they had an unspoken agreement that it was all they would ever be.

“Go with this one,” Jaime said. “Just trust me on this.”

Brienne scowled at him, but uploaded the photo he took of her anyway.

“What does your profile say?” He nosily read all her info. “Really, Brienne? You didn’t put swordfighting down as one of your favorite hobbies?”

Brienne blushed again. “I didn’t think it would be a good idea. Most men don’t like that sort of thing.”

_ Most men are idiots _ , Jaime thought.

“I think you should be honest. I mean, if you were looking for someone long term, you want to give them the whole picture.”

Brienne nodded, and typed in some more of her hobbies. “There, are you happy?”

Jaime shrugged. “We’ll tweak it later if we need to. Now, when are we going to meet to go over prospects? What do you say about doing it over pizza tonight?”

Brienne looked at him like he had grown another head. “What do you mean go over my prospects?”

Jaime couldn’t help but give her a wicked grin. “I’m going to pick your dates, of course.”

“Like hells you are!”

Jaime laughed so hard he almost fell out of the chair. “Okay, fine, but at least I want to get a good look at these guys’ profiles before they go out with my best friend.”

Brienne rolled her eyes at him, but she surprisingly did not argue.

“Please, Brienne? You provide the beer, I’ll bring the pizza. And we can watch a movie on the couch when we’re done picking the lucky fellow who gets to take you out on a date.”

“I wouldn’t go so far as lucky, but fine. You can come over and help. But you need to bring some hot wings too.”

Jaime grinned. “It’s a date.”

He didn’t know why, but he was whistling on his way out of her office.

**

Brienne thought her best friend was the most annoying person on the planet. Honestly, she didn’t know why she tolerated his presence. I mean, sure, he had brought pizza over tonight and made sure to include her favorite toppings. But now he was making her life a living hell.

He was going through the profiles of men on the dating service one by one, picking them apart and telling her just why each one would not be a good match for her. At this rate, she would be single until she died. A maid until the end.

It was embarrassing how excited she was about Jaime coming over to the apartment. He had been there before, to be sure, but something lately had make her take extra care into cleaning up and brushing her hair more. It was ridiculous. She knew Jaime didn’t look at her in any other way than a pal, but Brienne couldn’t help but wish her best friend would see more.

Her heart sunk a little at the energy he was putting into finding someone for her to go out with. He really seemed to want her to go out with someone. She pushed her feelings for Jaime aside and focused on the task at hand. She had to find someone serious. Brienne wanted to make her father happy, as he had just been diagnosed with a heart condition and she didn’t know how much time he had left in this world.

“What’s the matter with that guy?” Brienne pointed to the screen as Jaime clicked past a man who didn’t look like a serial killer, even though he had an arrogant smirk on his face. “He seems to be a normal enough fellow.”

“He looks like an asshole. Look at that eyebrow quirk! He would be terrible to you, believe me,” Jaime said.

“Because of my looks?” Brienne said sadly. Jaime turned around and grabbed her hand.

“Not at all, wench. This guy looks like he’s an asshole to everyone. I have a feeling he’d be yelling at the waiters over every little thing at your meal. It would be so embarrassing.”

Brienne just sighed and nodded a little, making a mental note to go back and read a lot of these profiles again once Jaime was gone for the day.

“What about that one? He seems…interesting,” Brienne said, pointing to a picture of a red-haired man with a wild beard.

“Ugh, this guy? He looks like he wrestles bears or something.”

“Bears?” Brienne said with a laugh. Now Jaime was surely reaching.

“Yeah, I mean look at that beard and the wild expression. Totally a bear wrestler. And he probably does a lot more than wrestle with bears, if you know what I’m saying,” Jaime added, waggling his eyebrows suggestively.

“You are disgusting,” Brienne said.

“Don’t blame me; blame bear humper for being into that sort of thing.”

“We don’t know that he is.”

“I know. Trust me on this one.”

Brienne tried her best not to laugh at Jaime’s proclamations. She didn’t want to encourage his ridiculous behavior.

“Fine, we’ll skip that one for now. Who’s next?” Brienne asked.

Jaime clicked on the mouse and Brienne froze when she saw the face that popped up on the screen.

“Seems like a decent looking fellow, but there is something shady about him. Something in his eyes I really don’t like. What do you think, wench?”

When she didn’t say anything, Jaime turned to look at her, his eyes wide with concern. “Brienne, are you alright?”

She finally nodded and pointed to the computer. “That’s Hyle Hunt,” she said in a whisper.

“Wasn’t he one of the guys that were in on that bet from when you were in high school?”

Brienne nodded.

“Well, then, I’m going to skip him. And maybe even report him to this dating service,” Jaime said angrily. Brienne smiled at him for his anger on her behalf, but it wasn’t necessary.

“I don’t think you need to do that. It has been many years. Maybe he’s changed since then.” Brienne wanted to give the man the benefit of the doubt. After all, Jaime himself had changed since she first had met him.

“You’re not seriously considering going out with this loser, are you? Brienne, he was part of a bet to see who would get you in bed first!” Jaime turned to face her angrily.

Brienne thought about it for a moment. “But he was the nicest one of them.”

“Are you listening to yourself right now?” Jaime was getting really angry at her right now, and she was getting angry right back.

“Look, I’m not exactly in a position where I can be choosy. Besides, don’t you think it would be better to go out with somebody I actually know than a complete stranger?” Brienne didn’t really want to go out with Hyle, but she was annoyed with Jaime for trying to tell her what to do.

“Yeah you do know him. You know he’s an asshole,” Jaime said.

“Why do you care if I go out with an asshole? It’s my life!”

They were screaming at each now, their faces inches from each other. They had fights like this before, and they always ended with one of them storming away, and then they made up the next day by having a boxing match or a round of their favorite video game.

“Fine! Do what you want, I don’t care.” Jaime grabbed his jacket and rushed to the front door. “Just if you decide to marry that asshole, don’t bring him around me.”

And with that he was out the door, slamming it behind him.

Was he seriously trying to make her choose between dating Hyle Hunt or being his friend? How dare he! She didn’t really want to go out with Hyle, but now she felt like she needed to out of principle.

Jaime Lannister did not control her love life.

And with that thought, she went back to the computer and started saying yes to all the men that Jaime had rejected. Brienne was sure none of them were that bad.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brienne goes on the first of her online dates.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all the love on the first chapter! Hope you enjoy the second. :)

Jaime felt like a complete jerk. Not only had he disparaged every guy that Brienne had been interested in on the dating site, but he had managed to piss her off about Hyle Hunt. He knew this meant Brienne would probably go out on a date with the vile man now.

And she wasn’t speaking to him, so she was about to enter the dating world alone. This would not do.

Jaime was determined to beg her forgiveness and be a little subtler in his attempts to sabotage this whole dating website thing. But that’s exactly what he intended to do--sabotage. None of those men were good enough for Brienne. He just had to make her see that.

He stopped on the way to her apartment at her favorite bagel shop. He wasn’t above bribing her with food to win his way back into her good graces.

Jaime rang the buzzer on her apartment building nervously, practicing the words he needed to earn forgiveness.

“Oh, it’s you,” said a voice behind him. He turned to see an annoyed looking Margaery Tyrell carrying several garment bags as she walked up to the building. Margaery was always annoyed with him, though he could never figure out why. He guessed she never approved of his friendship with Brienne.

“Yes, it’s me. What are you doing here at this hour of the morning. I thought you didn’t rise from your beauty sleep until at least noon,” Jaime teased.

Margaery rolled her eyes. “Normally, you would not be wrong, but Brienne needs me. She has a date tonight and she cannot be trusted to dress herself.”

Brienne opened the door at just that moment, her face turning red at Margaery’s words. Jaime turned and made a show of looking her up and down.

“She looks like a fully-grown person to me. I’m sure she is capable of putting clothes on without your aid.”

Brienne smiled and nodded in agreement, and Jaime knew his wench did not want the Tyrell girl there, but did not have the heart to say no. He could only imagine the type of outfits that Margaery would put Brienne in.

The woman in question allowed them in, and he supposed he was forgiven when she gratefully took the bagel and coffee from his hands.

“Thank gods you are here,” she whispered. “You cannot leave me alone with her.”

Jaime chuckled at her words. “What were you going to wear to this date instead? Your favorite pantsuit? Or, don’t tell me, that pink monstrosity of a dress you had to wear as a bridesmaid in that wedding last year?”

They both shuddered remembering that dress.

“I thought we agreed never to speak of that evil thing again,” Brienne hissed.

Margaery scowled at them. “Are you two done? We have work to do.”

Jaime and Brienne looked contrite as the woman began unzipping the garment bags.

“Marge, I cannot wear that skirt! It’s way to short!”

Jaime was trying desperately not to imagine Brienne’s long legs in the short blue skirt.

“That’s the point, Brienne, we want them to see all your assets. And your legs are definitely one of them.”

Jaime sighed and sat down on the couch.

“So which of the foul creatures on that site did you decide to go out on a date with?”

Brienne frowned at his words, and he hoped he hadn’t launched them into another fight.

“Several of them actually,” she said shyly.

Jaime straightened at her words. “Several?”

Brienne’s face was beet red. “Well, after you left last night, I was so angry that I wrote back to many of the men you had rejected. I have to get out there, Jaime. And no matter what you say, I’m not one that has the luxury of turning men down.”

Jaime didn’t know how to explain to her that she was worth so much more than those men online, but he didn’t have a chance to because Margaery pushed Brienne from the room with several clothing options to try.

Then he had the exquisite torture of sitting in the living room for an hour as she made Brienne “model” each of the outfits for him. Any hope he had of getting Brienne’s legs out of his mind was long gone.

“What do you think, Jaime?” Margaery’s question came with a calculating gleam in her eyes every time she asked it.

Of course, he gave a favorable opinion on all the outfits that did not flatter her, which the Tyrell girl protested greatly. He didn’t need Brienne looking too attractive for these online men. His best friend didn’t like any of the outfits that had been presented to wear.

“I would rather wear a pantsuit,” Brienne complained after the fifth dress.

Margaery gave her a stern look before shoving the short blue skirt outfit at her. “Just try this.”

Brienne went into the room reluctantly. “Fine, but if this one doesn’t work out, I’m going to wear my armor from my comicon cosplay.”

Jaime laughed at that. “That’s the spirit, wench. Bring a sword too, to really intimidate them.”

Brienne giggled. “Yeah, but I think Tormund would actually like that. He seems the type. You remember, the red head guy?”

Jaime choked. “Bearfucker? You decided to go out with bearfucker tonight?”

“HE DOES NOT DO THAT WITH BEARS!”

Jaime grinned. “You don’t know that.”

Brienne rolled her eyes before heading back to the bedroom to change again. “I’m sure he goes nowhere near bears at all.”

He couldn’t help but laugh.

Jaime lost all sense of mirth a few minutes later when Brienne walked out of the room. In fact, he lost all train of thought whatsoever.

The blue skirt left barely any of her legs to the imagination. Jaime could stare at them for hours. And the close-fit top clung to her in all the right places. While she did not appear to have a womanly figure in the clothes she often wore, there was no denying her raw sexual appeal now.

Jaime could do nothing but stare at her. Margaery giggled, and said “Well, that seals the deal. This is the outfit.”

Brienne turned a lovely shade of red. Had she always had that many freckles on her shoulders? Now all he wanted to do was kiss every one of them.

And she was going out with another man.

Another man would see her in this outfit.

Suddenly it felt like the room was closing in on him.

“I’ve got to go,” he said, rising to his feet quickly. Brienne looked at him with surprise and concern.

“Are you okay, Jaime?”

“Yeah, I’m fine. I just forgot I have something to do,” Jaime said, but Brienne continued to look at him with concern. Meanwhile, Margaery was giving him a wicked grin behind her, as if she had read Jaime’s thoughts. What was that girl up to?

“Well, have a good night then,” Brienne said a little sadly. “I’ll talk to you tomorrow?”

Jaime nodded, not sure he wanted to hear the details of the date but still wanting to be the friend she needed from him. He wondered if he would be able to sit at home all night while Brienne was out with the Bearfucker.

**

Brienne eyed all the doors of the restaurant, gauging which one she could make a quick escape from if needed.

Tormund had a few things going for him. He seemed like he was a strong guy, not like some of the weaklings she had seen on the dating site. Also, he seemed to be interested in her, which is something she was not used to.

But that was part of the problem with Tormund also--he was a little too interested in her. When Brienne had walked into the restaurant, he had shouted, “There’s my big woman!” Everyone had turned to look at her and she felt herself blush from head to toe at the attention.

The man was over the top with compliments and suggestive gazes, and now he was eating in a way that Brienne guessed was flirting? He kept taking huge bites of his chicken and then waggling his eyebrows at her.

Still, she supposed some attention was better than no attention. Brienne ignored her subconscious screaming over that thought, which for some reason sounded a little bit like Jaime Lannister.

She could not think of her best friend right now, she had to focus on her date.

“So, Tormund, what do you do for a living?” Brienne asked, taking a sip of her wine.

“I’m a bear tracker for the National Parks System,” he said, giving Brienne a confused look when she started choking on her wine. He stood up and gave her a few whacks on the back. “Are you okay, love?”

Brienne nodded. “I’m fine,” she said in a raspy voice. “It just went down the wrong pipe. Did…did you say bear tracker?”

_ Bearfucker, bearfucker bearfucker _ – Jaime’s voice repeated over and over in her head.  _ Shut up _ , she told her inner voice that sounded like her obnoxious friend.

“Aye, I track all the bears, make sure they are breeding properly, getting enough food, and all that. They were very close to becoming an endangered species until I came around,” Tormund said. “Well I helped them. And Sheila, of course.”

Did she want to know? “Shelia?”

“An absolutely beautiful she-bear. I love her so much. She has bred so many cubs for the program. My coworkers like to tease me that I’m the father.”

_ Bearfucker, bearfucker bearfucker  _ – for the love of the gods, would the Jaime in her head please shut up?

“You remind me of her a little,” Tormund continued. Brienne held back a groan at his words. “Strong and sexy.”

Brienne choked on her wine again. “You think the bear is sexy?”

Tormund reached out and grabbed her hand.

“Aye, but you’re sexier,” he growled at her.

Brienne tried to pull her hand away to no avail, and she tried to come up with a polite way to end this date sooner. With the combination of his advances and Jaime’s voice in her head, she really wanted to get out of here.

Tormund shocked her when he leaned forward like he was going to kiss her. She balled the hand he wasn’t holding into a fist, ready to strike if needed. Brienne was saved by the bell, however, when the restaurant’s fire alarm went off.

Everyone got out of the restaurant quickly, and Brienne used the opportunity to say farewell to Tormund. She thought she really must be hallucinating about the Jaime voice that was in her head, because she thought she saw him from the corner of her eye. When she turned to look, though, there was nothing there.

Oh well, she needed to get home to a pint of ice cream. And a shower, she thought after remembering the way Tormund was trying to eat his food in a sexual way. And she definitely needed a bottle of wine to get that image, and the voice of Jaime Lannister, out of her head. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My headcanon soundtrack for this fic is Jaime slow-mo walking to "Sabotage" by the beastie boys. ;)


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brienne has a date planned with a second online gentleman - can Jaime stop it in time?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks everyone for the love on this fic! It truly brightened my day when I posted the last chapter. Have some more meddling Jaime. :) Enjoy!

Jaime was in a guilt spiral. He promised himself that he would be happy for Brienne and not interfere with her dating life.

But as if he was having an out of body experience, he suddenly found himself at the restaurant where they were eating. He growled when he saw the man grab Brienne’s hand, but he knew he had no right to be jealous. And then he noticed that she was trying to pull her hand away, and Tormund wouldn’t let her.

Jaime knew Brienne could take care of the idiot herself, but she was far too polite for her own good.  Again, his body moved without his control and he was suddenly pulling the fire alarm. He was sure that someday he and Brienne would laugh about this, but as of now, she could not know. She wouldn’t forgive him.

And now he was on the way to meet her for coffee, where he had to plaster a sympathetic look on his face and pretend like he knew nothing when she told him about her date. And then he had to pretend to be happy for her when she talked about the next online idiot she was going out with.

Jaime had made the mistake last night of drinking away his sorrows with his brother Tyrion, who told him several times that he was an idiot and he should just confess his feelings to Brienne. He couldn’t do that though. Nothing in the past has indicated she reciprocated those feelings, so if he told her that he was secretly in love with her, he would lose her as a friend. He would rather have her in his life as a friend than not at all.

Still, the anxiety over all these terrible fools she was going out with was causing so much pressure, his feelings were likely to boil over and burst out of him soon.

Brienne was scowling at him when he walked up to their table at the coffee shop.

“I’m so pissed at you,” she said, and Jaime had a moment of panic. Did she know about his stunt with the fire alarm?

Play it cool, he told himself. “Oh really, wench? Is that how you greet me before I’ve had my coffee? Pray, tell which of my many offenses has you so upset this morning?”

Brienne shoved a coffee cup in his direction. “You got into my head.”

Jaime sighed with relief. She didn’t know about his meddlesome behavior last night. “What do you mean?”

“I couldn’t stop thinking about all the lewd suggestions you were making about Tormund before my date, and then I couldn’t take him seriously after that. Especially when he told me he was a bear tracker for National Parks,” Brienne complained.

Jaime choked on his coffee. Brienne scowled at him again. “Don’t even think about saying anything right now Jaime, or you will leave this place with a nosebleed.”

He decided it would be wise to stay silent on the bear subject. “Okay, besides me allegedly being in your head, how did the rest of the date go?”

Brienne thought for a moment. He wondered if she would be honest or pretend it had been awesome just to spite him because of his objections.

“It was alright, but I don’t think I will see him again. We didn’t have a connection,” Brienne said. “To be honest, I was kind of relieved when the fire alarm went off in the restaurant.”

Jaime grinned. “How fortuitous then,” he said.

Brienne narrowed her eyes as if she suspected he was up to something, but then let it drop. She shrugged. “Anyway, there are other fish in the sea. I have a different date tonight.”

Jaime almost choked on his coffee again.

“Tonight? So soon?”

Brienne gave him a teasing smile. “Well, my father is very old and doesn’t have much time left on this earth,” she joked.

Jaime waved his hand in dismissal. “Selwyn will outlive us all.”

Brienne laughed, and Jaime was relieved that she still seemed to be in a good mood. Time for him to do what he could to undo any charm the next online loser would try on Brienne.

“So, who is tonight’s lucky candidate?” Jaime gritted his teeth preparing for the worst.

“His name is Bronn something.”

“BRONN BLACKWATER?” Jaime shouted at her, and all the guests at the coffee shop turned to stare at them. He calmed down and gave everyone an apologetic look before confronting Brienne again in a whisper. “You cannot be going out with Bronn Blackwater; please tell me it isn’t him.”

Brienne had been watching his reaction with wide eyes, before nodding at his words. “Yes, I am. Please don’t tell me anything about him. I don’t want your words in my head like last night.”

Jaime chuckled at that. “I kind of like the idea of being your good angel, wench. Always telling you to make the right decisions.”

Brienne scowled. “More like the devil on my shoulder.” Brienne sighed, before continuing. “Fine, you might as well tell me what there is to dislike about Bronn. You seem to know him.”

Jaime took a moment to measure his words. He was actually friends with Bronn, but that was why he knew that the man was not a good match for Brienne.

“He and I have been friends for many years. He’s a good lad, although somewhat obsessed with gaining wealth and property,” Jaime said. “If he were to date you, it would probably be with the idea of getting Tarth, rather than you.”

Brienne sighed. “I suppose that’s all I can expect anyway.”

Jaime reached out and grabbed her hand. “You can’t think like that Brienne. You need someone to appreciate how awesome you are. While Bronn is nice, he’s not that man. Besides, he has a mouth on him that would make you blush.”

Brienne quirked an eyebrow at him. “You do realize I have been working around men with similar language for years and been able to survive?”

Jaime grimaced. “I’m aware, but that doesn’t mean you need to willingly expose yourself to it.”

Brienne quickly changed the subject away from her dating life, and the two enjoyed the rest of their coffee together. When they parted, she promised to let him know the next day how the date went, but Jaime knew the date would not be happening.

On his walk back to his home, he pulled out his phone.

“Jaime Fookin’ Lannister. Long time no chat,” Bronn said when he answered. “I can only assume you are calling me because you need something. That’s how you Lannister lot works.”

Jaime chuckled. “You know Tyrion and me well. I hung out with you for drinks last week and didn’t ask for anything though.”

Bronn laughed. “That was because you owed me from the last time.”

“Well a Lannister always pays his…”

“Don’t even fookin’ say it. What do you want, Lannister?”

Jaime paused, trying to figure out a way to say this without coming across as a jackass. “You have a date tonight.”

“What, are you spying on me now? That’s a bit disturbing!”

“No, it’s just, your date…is with Brienne.” Jaime hoped Bronn would catch on before he had to explain more.

“Yes, Brienne Tarth. I looked her up, and she is heir to a nice estate on an island. Just my kind of girl,” Bronn said.

Jaime sighed. “Bronn, you’re going on a date with  _ Brienne _ .”

Bronn was silent for a moment. “Wait, are you trying to fookin’ tell me that my Brienne is your Brienne? The same Brienne you’ve been best friends but secretly I love with for years but don’t have the balls to do anything about it? That Brienne?”

Jaime wished Bronn were in the same room, so he could glare at him. “It’s a bit more complicated than that, but yes, it is my Brienne.”

“THEN WHY THE FOOK IS SHE IN AN ONLINE DATING SERVICE WHEN SHE COULD BE DATING YOU? YOU FOOKING IDIOT!”

Jaime had to hold the phone away from his ear to save himself from the shouting. Once Bronn calmed down, he answered. “I’m thinking I may have to do something about it, but could you do me a solid and not go on this date tonight?”

Bronn was quiet for a moment. “I gave my word. I may not be much, but I try to keep my word when possible.”

“You can tell her you’re sick,” Jaime pleaded.

Bronn sighed. “Fine, but you owe me. First, you have to set me up with someone in your family’s social circles. Preferably someone with lots of money. I need a sugar momma.”

Jaime chuckled. “Sure, I can do that. So you’ll cancel the date?”

“I will, but you have one week to do something about your feelings for your friend or I call back and reschedule,” Bronn said sternly. “You are not being fair to her if you are not going to date her.”

Jaime felt panic rise in his chest at the thought of confessing his feelings for Brienne, but Bronn was right. He couldn’t keep Brienne from dating forever.

“Deal. Even if it ruins our friendship, I will tell her within the week,” Jaime promised.

“It won’t ruin everything. And if it works out, I get to be your best man at your wedding instead of Tyrion, since I played a part in it.”

“There won’t be any wedding. I’m not good enough for her,” Jaime explained sadly.

“You’ve got it fookin’ bad, man. Why don’t we wait and see what the lady has to say about it? Now if you will excuse me, I have to practice my fake cough before I call your girl,” Bronn said.

Jaime sighed as he hung up the phone. He hoped that Brienne wouldn’t be too upset about missing her date.

**

Brienne laid her fifth outfit on the bed, trying to figure out which one worked best for the evening. She didn’t want Margaery’s help again, because had not felt comfortable in her own skin in the last outfit her friend had picked out.

After her date with Tormund, Brienne really wasn’t looking forward to going on any more dates. But she had to do this. She wanted to make her father happy. And, really, she wanted to find love and have a family someday. She just didn’t know if it was possible.

She thought of Jaime, and how much time they spent together. Would that change if she found someone to date and hopefully marry? She supposed it would have to. Her heart clenched at the thought of seeing less of her best friend.

For a moment, she let her mind wander to what her marriage and family might be like if Jaime was her husband. Hopefully, their children would look like Jaime, but maybe some would have blue eyes like her. Their house would be full of fun and laughter, and she would make sure all their children felt cherished. And she knew Jaime would too.

Brienne wiped a tear from her eye as she banished those impossible dreams. She loved Jaime, but they could never be together. Jaime deserved someone who was beautiful and able to be a lady that would make the Lannister family proud. She was neither of those things.

No, she would find someone more acceptable and get married and try to move on with her life. Still, she wanted to lead with who she was, she decided, grabbing her favorite pantsuit from the pile.

Just as she was happy with her choice, her phone began to ring. She didn’t recognize the number, so she let it go to voicemail. When she heard the message from Bronn canceling their date, she was livid. Not at Bronn, although his cough was probably the fakest she had ever heard.

No, she was enraged with Jaime Lannister. And that idiot was going to get a piece of her mind.

She angrily dialed his number. “Why are you doing this to me? Why are you sabotaging my love life?” She screamed into the phone when he answered. “First, you get into my head before my date with Tormund and now you basically made Bronn cancel on me.”

“He ratted me out?”

Brienne gritted her teeth. “No, but I suspected, and you just confirmed it.”

She heard Jaime curse on the other end of the phone.

“Wench, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you so upset. Bronn just isn’t…”

“Why do you let me decide who is or isn’t good enough for me?”

“Am I?”

“What?”

“Am I good enough for you, Brienne? I want to be.”

Brienne pulled the phone away from her ear and stared at it. What the hells was he talking about? Surely, he couldn’t be serious. This was Jaime. Then a thought struck her cold in the heart. Maybe he was japing with her. No, Jaime wouldn’t do that. Play with her feelings the way all those men had when they made that bet as to who would bed her first. Jaime was too good of a friend to mess with her, wasn’t he? Sure, when they first formed their friendship there had been a mean banter back and forth, but they were over that now.

Right?

Still, his actions over the past few days made her believe that he was just trying to interfere with her love life again by confusing her. It was all too much, and she really couldn’t deal with him right now.

“Wench? Wench, are you there?” Jaime was calling on the other end of the phone.

Brienne gripped the device so hard she nearly cracked it. She held it up to her ear. “Jaime,” she said through gritted teeth.

“Brienne,” Jaime said with what sounded like relief. “I thought I lost you there. You didn’t answer my question.”

Brienne had enough. “Do not mock me Lannister, it is beneath you. I thought you had more honor than that.”

“Brienne, you have to believe me. I…”

“I don’t want to hear it. Now if you will excuse me, I have to go arrange a date with the last match I have left on that bloody website.”

Jaime was silent for a moment, and Brienne thought he might have hung up until he whispered. “You mean Hunt.”

“Yes,” she replied unenthusiastically. “It seems that’s about the best I can do.”

“Please don’t Brienne. Can I come over? We can talk about this.”

Brienne fought back tears. For the first time in forever, she really didn’t want to see Jaime because it would make the fact that their friendship was disintegrating before her eyes more real, but at the same time all she wanted was her best friend to hug her while she was sad.

“Goodbye Jaime,” she whispered into the phone. “I’ll see you at work on Monday.”

“Brienne!” But Jaime’s final cry of her name was in vain because she hung up the phone before he could say more.

Brienne wiped the tears from her eyes and opened the phone to find the number for Hyle Hunt. She didn’t really relish the thought of seeing him again, but maybe he had changed. Besides, maybe getting ready and then going out would take her mind off of Jaime.

**

Across town, Jaime stared at his phone in shock. She had hung up on him. She thought he was joking. She was going on a date with Hyle The Asshole Hunt.

His love confession had not gone the way he planned, and he had to fix it.

Now.

Jaime threw on his jacket and ran out the door as fast as he could, determined to get to Brienne before she could make arrangements to meet with Hyle. He had been delaying sharing his feelings with her for so long, but now it felt like he had to tell them to her immediately.

He was stopped by a dead car battery and then a blown tire. It seemed the universe was conspiring against him, because when he finally got to Brienne’s apartment, she wasn’t home. He tried texting her, but she didn’t answer.

Sadly, he sat down on her stoop and made the call he was dreading.

“Margaery,” he said when she answered.

“Asshole. What did you do to Brienne?”

“Nothing, please, I promise. I just really need to talk to her to make it right,” Jaime begged. “Do you know where she is?”

She was silent on the other end, and Jaime knew she was weighing whether or not she believed him.

“Fine. I will tell you, but only because I think Hyle is a bigger asshole than you. And she loves you, even if she won’t admit it. Who am I to judge if she loves an asshole?”

“Margaery,” Jaime said impatiently.

“Okay, okay, she’s out at Table Salt with Hunt. Please, Jaime, treat her right and if you hurt her again, I will destroy you.”

Jaime chuckled. “Duly noted.”

“Now hurry, before she lets that jerk have a chance again. Go get our girl,” Margaery said before hanging up, and Jaime almost felt a smidge of affection for her.

Jaime grinned and started running down the street toward the direction of the restaurant, not willing to risk a flat tire when it came to finding his love.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Run, Jaime, run! One more chapter after this, then a short epilogue.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi gang! I'm sorry I didn't get this posted yesterday like I was planning. I had a root canal - ugh. But I'm back in action today so here you go!

Brienne sat across the table from Hyle, studying him. He hadn’t really changed much over the years, much to her dismay. Sure, his face had aged, and his hair was a little thinner, but the charm he had when she first knew him was still there.

The charm she no longer trusted, as he had used it to get ahead in a bet with others about who would get her into bed first. She had almost let him win, because she thought he actually liked her. Brienne shuddered at the memory, wondering if this was a bad idea after all. Did he deserve a second chance?

Jaime had tried to talk her out of it, but he just thought interfering with her love life was a joke and could not be taken seriously.

“Once an asshole, always an asshole,” Margaery had said when Brienne called her on the way to the date. Maybe she should have taken her friend to heart.

Brienne had been surprised when Hyle said he could meet her for a date that evening. Since her plans with Bronn had been canceled, Brienne didn’t see why she shouldn’t go out with Hyle.

When they arrived at the restaurant, he had hugged her and said it had been too long.

Strike one – she wasn’t ready for him to touch her again. She needed time to work up to that.

Then he had told her the years had treated her well and that she looked beautiful.

Strike two – Brienne knew what she looked like and trying to lie and flatter her just reminded her of the old Hyle Hunt.

Jaime would have said I didn’t look beautiful, but that I had astonishing eyes, her mind nagged at her. Now her own voice had joined the Jaime in her head and was turning against her.

“Oh you shut up too,” she said.

“Excuse me?” Hyle asked, clearly taken aback because she hadn’t wanted to hear whatever boring story he was telling her about the world of being a gym trainer.

“I’m sorry, I was talking to the voices in my head,” Brienne said, not caring about how crazy she sounded.

Hyle gave her an odd look and then shrugged it off.

Strike three- ignoring obvious flaws because he wanted something from her. Brienne wondered what it could be. Sex? No, he had made it plain many years ago that no one would want her for that. Money? She didn’t have a lot of it. Land? Maybe Tarth was an option, as he had admired it back when they were dating before.

She didn’t know and frankly, she didn’t care. Brienne knew she had made a mistake going on this date when she was still clearly upset about Jaime.

Gah, there she went thinking about him again. Brienne slammed down her fork in frustration. Hyle looked a little afraid of her now. Good.

“So Hyle, why did you decide that we should go out again, after all these years? After the…”

“Bet?” He finished for her. “I know I told you back then Brienne, but I wanted to tell you again just how sorry I am about all of that. I was young and stupid.”

Brienne frowned at him. “Yes, well I was young and hurt.”

Hyle grimaced. “Well, thank you for agreeing to meet with me. I know that had to be hard. But then again, I’m sure we are both at the bottom of the barrel now, am I right?”

“What? What the hell was that supposed to mean?” Brienne stared at the man in shock, surprised that he would be so bold and insulting.

“Please, Brienne, let’s not pretend we are more than what we are. You’re, well…you. Let’s just say you probably don’t have men beating down your door, and well, I’m a 30 something gym trainer who still lives with his mom. I’m not getting any younger and the ladies aren’t flocking to me either,” Hyle explained. “We’re each other’s last options.”

Brienne felt sick to her stomach. She knew that she had told Jaime something similar about herself, but hearing it come from Hyle…it didn’t sit right.

And then it hit her. She would rather be platonic best friends with Jaime for the rest of her life than be forced into a loveless relationship with the bottom of the barrel guy who had hurt her in the past - or anyone else for that matter. Even if Jaime wouldn’t return her love, at least he was a better friend to her than any of these fools. 

Also, she didn’t need a man romantically to be the best version of herself. She already was. She was a strong, independent woman, well respected by her colleagues and beloved by her friends.

Maybe she would get a cat. That was all she needed.

She scowled at Hyle. “Maybe you feel that way, but I think I deserve better than the bottom of the barrel and if I can’t get that, then I will just be content by myself.”

“But your father…Tarth,” Hyle interjected.

“My father would rather I be happy than force myself into a loveless marriage with someone like you,” Brienne said, and as the words came out she realized they were true. What the hell had she been doing all this for? “When you and the others made that bet, you broke a piece of me. Of that young girl that I was. But you know what? I’ve put it back together and I’m not letting it get broken again.”

Brienne slammed her napkin down on the table. Hyle reached up and grabbed her arm.

“Think about this, Tarth. Women like you don’t get a lot of chances at love,” he hissed.

She told him to unhand her, and when he didn’t, Brienne was about to knock him flat on his ass when sprinkles of water started hitting her face and an alarm blared. “Fire!” someone shouted and then the ceiling sprinklers started spraying down in full force.

Once could have been an accident, but twice – it was deliberate.

“Jaime Lannister! I know you’re here somewhere! Show your face!”

Jaime sheepishly came out behind the hostess’ desk, holding a lighter.

“Did you just hold that lighter under the sprinkler until it went off?” she asked with a laugh.

Jaime grinned. “Yes.”

“And why did you decide to sabotage another one of my dates?”

“I didn’t mean to, wench. I honestly came here just to talk to you, to apologize for earlier, but then he had his hands on you and wouldn’t let go,” Jaime said.

“For the last time, I can take care of myself Jaime Lannister!”

They heard a throat clearing behind them and Brienne suddenly realized that they were shouting at each other in the middle of the restaurant, being drenched by the overhead sprinklers.

“Excuse me, Brienne, but is this guy bothering you?” Hyle said with what she knew was fake chivalry.

“Bothering me? You were the one that said I was the bottom of the barrel!” She shouted at him over the noise of the sprinklers.

“What the hells! Brienne is not the bottom of the barrel! She’s the top! In fact, she’s so special that she’s not even in the barrel!” With those words, Jaime launched himself at her date, knocking him to the ground. He started punching Hyle’s face until Brienne pulled him off.

“Jaime, stop that,” she said, pulling off her suit jacket to wipe some of the blood off Hyle’s chin. “He’s not worth the effort.”

“Thanks a lot,” Hyle murmured.

Brienne grinned. “You were the one that said you were on the bottom of the barrel too. I think it’s best that you get out of here.”

Hyle didn’t have to be told twice. He hastily climbed off the floor and ran out the front door. Brienne looked over at Jaime, breathing heavily to calm his rage. In the water from the sprinkler, his t-shirt clung to his well-defined chest. The gods were out to torture her, surely.

“Why is my love life such a joke to you, Jaime? I thought we were friends!” She started, forcing herself to remember how angry she was at him, despite how good he currently looked.

“We are friends, best friends. And I do take your love life seriously, that’s what I was trying to tell you on the phone. You didn’t give me a chance before hanging up on me,” Jaime explained.

“I hung up because you were mocking me by wondering if you were good enough for me. As if you felt…as if you and I…” Brienne cut herself off, not letting her brain go down that line of thinking again.

“I WAS BEING SERIOUS!”

“YOU DON’T HAVE TO SHOUT AT ME!”

“YOU’RE SHOUTING AT ME, TOO WENCH!”

“What do you mean you were being serious? You have been nothing but a jokester all week, sabotaging all my dates,” Brienne argued in a softer voice.

“I sabotaged them all because I was serious. I’m in love with you Brienne. And I know you don’t feel the same way, but the thought of you being with someone who is less than worthy of you gutted me,” Jaime said. “I had to do something.”

Brienne just stared at him, trying to will her brain to catch up with everything she had just heard. Jaime…in love with her? Jaime…didn’t think she loved him back? “Wh…wh..what,” was all she managed to say.

“I SAID I’M IN LOVE WITH YOU WENCH!” Jaime started shouting again. “NOW KISS ME OR CURSE ME, BUT JUST DON’T KEEP STANDING THERE IN A SEE THROUGH WHITE SHIRT DRIVING ME MAD AND GAPING AT ME!”

Brienne gasped and looked down at her shirt, just now remembering that she had taken her jacket off and was only wearing a white blouse underneath. She had neglected to wear a bra that day, so with the wetness from the sprinklers, she was now on full display for the world to see. She glanced around and saw all the restaurant's patrons had decided to stay and watch their show rather than flee the sprinklers.

Jaime scowled at the men who were oogling Brienne, and whipped off his T-shirt for her to cover up with. It took Brienne a minute to realize what he was doing, because she was transfixed by Jaime’s naked chest.

“Wench, please stop looking at me that way and put this shirt on, else we won’t be able to have this conversation with words. We will have to use our bodies,” Jaime said. He was staring at her with such lust, Brienne shivered. “Although I’m not opposed to the latter.”

No one had ever looked at Brienne like that, and it was her best friend. Jaime, who knew how she took her coffee. Jaime, who knew that she was grumpy in the morning and that her feet were always cold. Jaime, who knew that she secretly liked rom coms but also MMA fighting. Jaime, who knew her in and out.

Lost in her thoughts, she slipped his shirt over her head. It smelled like him, and Brienne realized it was her favorite scent in the world.

“Brienne, please, say something. You’re killing me here,” Jaime pleaded.

Brienne smiled at him and sloshed over to him, because the ground was drenched with water by this point. By the time she reached him, the sprinklers shut off. She reached over and grabbed her purse off the wet floor, relieved to find upon opening it that the contents were surprisingly dry.

“Wench,” Jaime whispered desperately, but she held up a finger to silence him. She dug and found her phone, thankful that it was functioning fully.

“Brienne, now is not the time for you to be playing on your phone. I’m making life-altering declarations here. Pay attention to me,” Jaime complained.

Brienne grinned at him and opened the dating app.

“WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING BRIENNE? YOU CAN’T SERIOUSLY BE LOGGING IN TO FIND ANOTHER DATE!” Jaime was shouting at her again, but she just kept smiling. Then Brienne hit the delete button on the app.

“I’m not, I’m just deleting it because I won’t be needing it anymore,” she said to the shocked Jaime. “I love you too, Jaime.”

And then he was kissing her. And the entire restaurant broke into applause. Brienne tried to pull away, embarrassed, but Jaime wouldn’t let her. “I’m cold without my shirt, wench. It is your honorable duty to keep close for warmth.”

Brienne was happy to oblige.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed this romantic cheesiness. A short epilogue is left and will be posted soon.


	5. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jaime and Brienne's big day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi all, here is a short and sappy little epilogue to tie a bow on this fic. Thanks to everyone for all the love you've given it. :)

Brienne looked at herself in the mirror one more time. She had surprised everyone by choosing a dress for her wedding day, but she had found one that she felt comfortable in. And she had not let Margaery “help” in the selection process.

She felt lovely, and she knew Jaime would think so too. Brienne didn’t care what anyone else thought about it. Being in a relationship with her best friend had brought out that attitude. It was her and Jaime against the world.

“You look beautiful, honey,” said a voice from the door. Well, maybe there was one other person whose opinion she cared about, Brienne thought as she beamed at her father.

“Thanks, Dad.”

Selwyn Tarth entered the room, every inch of him the proud father of the bride. “Are you sure you want to do this?”

Brienne frowned at him. “Dad, you’ve been nagging me to get married for years, and now you’re questioning me?”

Selwyn looked serious, taking a moment to find his words. “I heard Jaime’s speech at the rehearsal dinner last night, about how you two finally were able to get together. About the dating service, and your reason for joining.”

Brienne looked down at her hands and blushed. “I just wanted to make you happy.”

“Brienne Tarth, you being happy is what makes me happy. I don’t need a goodson and grandchildren for that to happen,” Selwyn said. He pushed up her chin and she saw tears in his eyes. “So if you don’t want to marry Lannister, please don’t do so because you feel like you need to make me happy.”

Brienne’s own eyes filled. “I love him, Daddy. I’m marrying him because I WANT to.”

Selwyn smiled. “Well, good. And if he hurts you, I will knock him on his ass.”

Brienne laughed. “That’s what Margaery said. You two are ridiculous. You both know I could do that myself. In fact, I already have a couple of times.”

Selwyn cringed. “Please, I don’t need the details of what happens in the bedroom.”

Brienne’s laugh echoed through the building, and was heard by the groomsmen and groom getting ready down the hall.

“Sounds like your bride is in good spirits,” Bronn said. “I can’t imagine why, since she’s going to be stuck with you for life.”

Jaime smiled. “I know. For some reason, she seems happy to become a Lannister.”

“Hey, some of us Lannisters are tolerable,” Tyrion broke in.

“Tolerable at best,” Bronn joked.

Tyrion threw his cufflinks at Bronn and went back to straightening his bow tie. “Tell me again, Jaime, why this idiot is your best man and not your own dear brother?”

“A Lannister always pays his debts,” Jaime explained. Tyrion scowled, but didn’t argue any further.

A few minutes later, he was waiting at the altar for his bride. Jaime was devastated that she opted for a veil, because he couldn’t see her face when she was walking down the aisle. But the moment he was able to lift it and look into those blue eyes made it worth it.

They said their vows in front of the Seven and what seemed like half of King’s Landing, including some of Brienne’s former dates. Jaime couldn’t bring himself to apologize for sabotaging her dating efforts, and she vowed revenge against him sometime in the future.

He was very much looking forward to it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading it!

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading :)


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